his word-hoard unlocked

In newer news

2009-07-09T17:17:56Z

Please consider joining our conversation about the next possibilities for our diverse community. This touches the participants in CONvergence, Anime Detour, MISFITS, Marscon, Minicon, Gaylaxicon, Mn-Stf, Omegacon, and more and more. . .

http://leagueofwonders.wordpress.com

We began talking about big inter-community projects this year. There have been conversations at MN Society for Interest in Science Fiction and Fantasy open meetings. There have been conversations at closed meetings too. There was a wonderfully interesting panel at CONvergence last week on the subject of a "geek community center." That panel will likely make an appearance at other conventions.

Well we also want to have a public conversation with the members of the communities in which we are active. About joint efforts, about structure, about autonomy and interdependence, and about where we go from here. About what we could do if we start dreaming out loud.

That conversation lives here for now: http://leagueofwonders.wordpress.com and I invite you to take part. Share this info with others and get in on the action. Today!

Let's get this started!

2009-07-09T05:20:39Z

Okay! So, I suppose if I find the time, I'll write more than one of these types of posts, expanding on my issues, over the next several days. The usual disclaimer applies: YES, I am a director of the CONvergence convention. NO, my statements below do not represent official CONvergence policy. YES, I recognize that this does not absolve me of making misstatements or troubling claims. But you must know that the following is not official. Not by a long shot. Yet.

CONVERGENCE IS DEAD. Long Live CONvergence!
So what killed CONvergence this year?

too many people
too many events
too few events
too many days
too many drunks
too much sex
too much money
too corporate
too young
too old
too many fatties
too many skinny bimbos
too many polys
too many Klingons
too many leather queens
too much Bowie
too many kids
too many adult things
too much rice
too many m&ms
too much Windy
too little Jon O
too few movies
too many guests
too little face time with Cinematic Titanic
too much Brian Keene
too much art
too few dealers
too many dealers
too many corsets
too many hotel charges
too far away
too little parking
too few panels
too many panels
too little humor guests
too many kissing girls
too few conversations
too little pool time
too much ASL
too little ASL
too many decibels
too many ravers
too much non science
too many skeptics

Now let me ask you a very simple and clear question: SAYS WHO?

You because you've been coming since the beginning? You because you're new? You because you know what real conventions should have and this isn't it? Opinions about "what's wrong with CONvergence" are as varied as the stars. They grow out of expectations people have. Expectations about what other people are making for them.

You know what an expectation is? It's a resentment waiting to happen. We all get them, resentments. What's our way out of them? Make choices. Make a choice. I can take it if you choose to take your dollars elsewhere. I'll probably even listen to you when you make that threat. I can take it if you choose to join the convention committee and work to add the events, programming, parties, and hospitality elements that you feel the convention needs...

AND if in so doing you a) change what I like about the convention or even b) find a way to remove me from my position where I help set policies and make decisions about what kind of convention this is going to be ...I can take it. Know why I can take it? Because I'm a grown up. I'm also someone who volunteered, who stood for election, who paid his registration, and who considers himself a part of the community and is passionate about seeing it go in particular directions. And the people that I made commitments to in the last election, and in my daily supervision of eight departments, have shown a certain willingness to come along with me. We're over here making our convention and we invite you to join us again next year.

I can take your decisions because I grew the hell up! When you can say the same, then you can look me in the eye and tell me that you know definitively what the hell is wrong with my convention.

Until then, you are a part of the rest of the community, and your opinion is no more privileged than anyone else's. There's a lot of stuff we're going to fix this year in anticipation of next year. A LOT of it comes from the feedback we get from people, including many of the things on that list up there.

Because that list up there is not even a joke. There's probably three thousand more items that could go on it that someone felt was "too __________". Three thousand nine hundred and sixty six to be exact. Next year, I look forward to hearing about the forty three hundred straws that break the collective camel. The plain fact is, those things aren't even true. There wasn't too much or too little this or that, there was too much for some people and not enough for others. We work to improve constantly, and occasionally we're wrong and occasionally we're right. It's ambiguous victories, unpredictable successes.

If high unpredictability and ambiguities really truly will not work for you... honestly? This is probably not your convention.

But if you really think CONvergence is broken? If you so don't like something that it shatters for you any possibility of our con being a good con? Well giddyup and make a choice from at least these three options: Work to change it, examine your own expectations, or go somewhere else.

oops I missed my planned update by a couple...

2009-06-05T03:42:17Z

27 days until CONvergence

This is the one.

CONvergence.

Tell your friends.

budget saving ideas

2009-05-19T20:50:04Z

The MinnPost listed this address in an article recently where they said "He even said there's the public to advise him: People can send their thoughts on what should be cut to budgetideas@state.mn.us." So I did. Here's what I just sent to the address in question:

Governor Pawlenty,

Here's my ideas
1. Cut the governor's pay
2. Remove the governor's motor pool
3. Eliminate the governor's health insurance
4. Reduce any matching funds for the governor's 401K or other retirement accounts
5. Restrict the governor's travel allowance
6. Reduce the governor's paid vacation days
7. Reduce the governor's paid illness days
8. Reduce the governor's staff
9. Eliminate exterior lighting on the governor's mansion
10. Eliminate the governor's mansion entirely and request that he telecommute.
11. Ask Grover Norquist for a loan, he apparently is writing the rest of your policy decisions, so he must be very important and therefore wealthy.
12. Replace the governor with the current Secretary of State

Governor, I really loathe your policies and I hope this is the end of the line for your political career.

Jon Olsen
Minneapolis

An icon-relevant observation

2009-05-14T02:13:57Z

In Zardoz, the tiny projection screen from Arthur Frayn's ring showed a list of Vortex needs. The words had different spellings, phonetic, use of z for plurals. So the movie actually prefigures our present day alterations/distortions of the language! We got there hundreds of years ahead of schedule!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

burnunit @ 2009-05-13T09:41:00

2009-05-13T14:53:41Z

I pictured the boys there, bodies heaped, sweat and dirt and flecks of bright young blood on their clothes. I could hear Blackbird and Robin gasping, crying. Above them Wren and the others breathing hard, the great silence of the north reaches, the unpopulated houses and the broken City streets.

The whole pathetic arc of it stirred me, I laid a hand on Blackbird's arm. He smiled. Kiki finished the drink, the sun finished its fall. The evening wrapped us up. Which one of us stood first I'm still not sure. We were all together before long, looking away from the sunset, now toward the darker places. Past those pools of orange, down the hill and across the low roofs and lawns here to stare at the ruined Broad Way.

"All right. Let's get in there."

north wall

2009-05-12T20:47:15Z

when the gems of midmorning would wound us and we'd swoon with the pure bitter bite of the drinks, the dazzle of the golden liquor.

What we were doing was toasting ourselves at the edge of the faultlines, toasting our sweet ironies and haute exclamations. But we didn't enter. We hovered at the periphery, again at the periphery, while the City smoldered slowly then burnt right through.

"I want to tell you—" Blackbird began.

Kiki interrupting bored, hostile: "This isn't going to be another Spider story, is it?"

Blackbird answering, all simmer and patience: "I want to tell you what I remember from the places I lived, the northern reaches of the City."

"Up...uphill?"

"Uphill of the Market, yes. Some nights I remember every rowhouse, every turn and every terrace. Because they were all the same, you see. Brown upon light brown. White. Red roofs. Or green? This is not one of those nights--"

--snorts of laughter from us.

"--this is more a night of remembering how we moved in the City, when the sun was up. And then how we moved in the moonlight. The further north, the more moon you could see. The houses were lighter and lighter, until nearest the wall of the City it was a great canyonmaze of bone heaps laid before the cobbles. Dotted with concrete scoria ejected into the earth from dead projects, forgotten pilings. Weren't these the newest constructions? I wondered. But it was the dirtiest, and worst kept.

"There we moved more boldly. Caution always marked the start of any of our walks, but we accelerated toward the wall, pulled to its shadows. It was me and the rest of the boys, and we liked to slink among the broken buildings, playing at secret struggles."

Kiki snickered. Thin smile. Sip. Deep breath.

Blackbird went on, "Robin was a climber and he reached the high tip of a pylon crested with rebar, thrust his chest, cried, 'We are kings!' I trembled always, watching him. And this time he fell. None of us breathed while he hung there for what felt like hours. In a moment we realized that he did hang there: his shirt had hooked one of the spikes of rebar, and he dangled by it, legs kicking!"

"Oh god."

"Right! We gathered around the base, a perverse kind of maypole dance, hollering up at him while he struggled. We realized too that he was starting to choke, strangled by the collar. My boy Wren (such pretty eyes he had) searched crazily among the trash for some kind of stick, something to lift him off there. We tried to leap up and grab Robin's legs, they hung just above our hands, kicking. Wren found a length of aluminum, and we held it above our heads, tried to jab into the shirt. To lift Robin I suppose? We didn't exactly know, but we scraped his back and he cried out. We jabbed it into the shirt and finally the strain began to tear the fabric. It gave way and Robin fell directly on me. We collapsed to the dirt, sobbing."

Soup recipe

2009-05-06T23:51:38Z

4 leeks, washed and trimmed, slice thin
1 large shallot sliced
3 cloves garlic, smashed
3 tbsp stock

Sweat aliums in the stock for five to seven minutes (stock is used to reduce fat, would be very delicious to use oil, butter or ghee)

3 medium tomatoes - about 3/4#, peeled, quartered
1 tbsp cumin
1 clove
1 allspice berry
1/8 tsp cardamom
2 bay leaves
1/2 tsp dried rosemary
1 sprig each fresh rosemary, thyme, sage
1/2 tsp white pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tbsp oil

Add to aliums and stir. Pour enough stock to cover --approx 3 cups

Boil then simmer for 10mins. Remove herb sprigs and bay.
Add 1/2 can of great northern beans.
Blend until smooth (or cool and use food mill). Return to stove.

1 yellow pepper, diced
2 medium summer squash, halved and sliced about a half inch thick
Salt
1 tbsp oil
Sauté until slightly soft. Add to blended soup along with the rest of the beans. Put in a new bay leaf.

Heat through. Adjust seasoning. Garnish with sliced small tomatoes and if you choose, shredded cheese and a sprinkle of cayenne. Serve with bread.

Serves four as a meal, six with accompaniments.

Very easy to make vegan. Quite low fat, very balanced, rich and satisfying.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

The complete saga

2009-05-05T17:26:39Z

Well, I finally despaired of squeezing any more humor out of Marv Ellis from US Data Corporation, the artist formerly known as [redacted sales guy] and called his boss. Boss gave me his email address and I just sent off the conversations. Maybe they'll make it right. We'll keep you posted.

Kelly,
Per our phone call, attached below are the email exchanges I had with Marv in late April. I hope you can see where my concerns are. If opportunities present themselves and if we are a good fit with my clients' needs, I can probably still hear your pitch.

Best,

Jon Olsen
jon@raygunbeliever.com

Here's the whole email chain (which most of you have already seen)

Marv Ellis<mellis@usdatacorporation.com>
to jon@raygunbeliever.com
date Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 3:15 PM
subject Us Data--Follow up

Jon are you serious about moving forward with a marketing list? Are you wasting our time or did you have a serious need that we can help with.

Marv Ellis

Regional Sales Manager
U.S. Data Corporation
Embassy Tower
9300 Underwood Avenue Suite 270
Omaha, NE 68114
Email: mellis@usdatacorporation.com

Toll-Free: (888) 578-DATA (3282)
Local: (402) 758-0290 ext. 219
Fax: (402) 502-5623

US Data Spring Promotion! – Give your spring marketing campaign a jumpstart with a US Data marketing list. Get 15% Off your first order with our company, and 10% Off every subsequent order during the month of April.
(Cannot be combined with any other offer, minimum orders are $1000, maximum promotional value is $1000).

Marv Ellis <mellis@usdatacorporation.com>
date Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 4:03 PM
subject Re: Us Data--Follow up
mailed-by gmail.com

Woah Marv, hold on a second with the "wasting our time" bit. I thought when I filled out the get-a-quote form that I identified some of the things I was looking for. I appreciate the clarity of purpose and firm resolve you demonstrate on your follow through, but maybe this is a little stronger worded than you need it to be for a potential customer.

That said, I operate a small B2B business for other small businesses. I am scoping on behalf of my own clients who are a liquor store chain and small regional distributor. And I want to know the following four items:
What kind of list segmentation can US Data perform your lists? My clients' interest is going to run toward consumers, segmented by age groups (21+ obviously), zip codes, and income.
What is your method: do your clients acquire lists or do you do the sending and we have the option to deliver creative?
What are the cost and unit sizes for your lists according to some of the selection criteria identified above?
What does your reporting look like?
That'll do it. Now is that serious enough or should I give my clients the quotes I have from your competitors plus my margin?

Regards,

Jon Olsen

Jon Olsen <jon@raygunbeliever.com>

date Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 4:13 PM
subject RE: Us Data--Follow up

Well apparently it worked………..you finally responded. Oh and go ahead give them the other quotes, safe to assume your quoting brokered data which we all know how well that works. As you know we are a compiler and we choose who we work with not the other way around. Again if you are serious about discussing a partnership then let me know a good time to get on the the phone to discuss.

We may not be a match, hard to say. Thank you for the response.

Marv Ellis
Regional Sales Manager
U.S. Data Corporation
Embassy Tower
9300 Underwood Avenue Suite 270
Omaha, NE 68114
Email: mellis@usdatacorporation.com

Toll-Free: (888) 578-DATA (3282)
Local: (402) 758-0290 ext. 219
Fax: (402) 502-5623

US Data Spring Promotion! – Give your spring marketing campaign a jumpstart with a US Data marketing list. Get 15% Off your first order with our company, and 10% Off every subsequent order during the month of April.
(Cannot be combined with any other offer, minimum orders are $1000, maximum promotional value is $1000).

Jon Olsen<jon@raygunbeliever.com>
to Marv Ellis <mellis@usdatacorporation.com>
date Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 9:28 PM
subject Re: Us Data--Follow up
mailed-by gmail.com

Marv!

It did work; you must say that to all the businesses! You are correct, I AM looking for brokered data and I agree, we likely will not be a perfect match.

Your PPC guys must be going crazy. They have to hate it that leads who click their carefully made ads can't tell that it's US Data who does the choosing, and not the other way around. Maybe they could reduce their spend, since the customer's shopping process is evidently immaterial. Once they learn the inside sales reps have eliminated the need for attracting customers, it should make budget negotiations much easier.

As requested, I'll keep your number. I can foresee a time when someone I work with insists I put on a nice suit, buy flowers, and beg you to take me back.

Best,
JonO

from Marv Ellis<mellis@usdatacorporation.com>
to Jon Olsen <jon@raygunbeliever.com>
date Thu, Apr 23, 2009 at 8:21 AM
subject RE: Us Data--Follow up

We attract customers that are truly interested in purchasing quality data, not bargain basement shoppers like yourself. Save the suit, your probably much more comfortable working from moms basement in your pajamas.

Good day and I hope all works out for you.

Best,

Marv

Marv Ellis

Regional Sales Manager
U.S. Data Corporation
Embassy Tower
9300 Underwood Avenue Suite 270
Omaha, NE 68114
Email: mellis@usdatacorporation.com

Toll-Free: (888) 578-DATA (3282)
Local: (402) 758-0290 ext. 219
Fax: (402) 502-5623

US Data Spring Promotion! – Give your spring marketing campaign a jumpstart with a US Data marketing list. Get 15% Off your first order with our company, and 10% Off every subsequent order during the month of April.
(Cannot be combined with any other offer, minimum orders are $1000, maximum promotional value is $1000).

from Jon Olsen<jon@raygunbeliever.com>
to Marv Ellis <mellis@usdatacorporation.com>
date Thu, Apr 23, 2009 at 10:30 AM
subject Re: Us Data--Follow up
mailed-by gmail.com

Dearest Marvin,

Oh, no no surely I have given you the wrong idea! Our office is on the ground floor, and when you are next in the Twin Cities, do come by for the tour. We shall have butternut squash and bacon canapes (my own recipe). And I make a lovely Aviation cocktail which I'm told inspires many to feats of the most grandiose entrepreneurship and unparalleled client service. I'll introduce you to the wife and kids and you can even examine our data center.

And my dear mother, bless her soul, is hundreds of miles away pining for her grandchildren. It was certainly a difficult time in our lives, living under her roof those many years ago. She loathed our noisy dog and stifled her anxieties for my pride's sake while we sought to get back on our feet. What a strong and vigorous woman. Do you know that she is already 71? Seventy-one! I will tell her you asked after her, she'll be so pleased.

The dog, of course, had to be put down.

Warm regards,

Jon

LOST

2009-05-04T15:34:51Z

Dead people on LOST don't tend to stay dead. Faraday may be dead, but he could still show up in every remaining episode and the writers could make it work.

Why are people so confused about the time travel stuff? "Is Faraday dead? How can he be dead in the past and still have existed in 2004 ?" "Why don't people remember they were in the past?"
how many times do they have to say "this is our present" before you people get it?? I mean DAMN. The adult Faraday is the person who was shot in 1977. Up until 2004-5 he was living through OUR present, so the child Faraday and the young man Faraday, who were raised off the island, were not exposed to any of the events of his shooting in 1977. Then when he reached adulthood in 2004-5, he went back to 1974, as an adult. He had left the time stream in 2005 and moved to a new present (sure, it's our past, but it's still his new present). Then he was shot. Why is this confusing?

70s-80s 90s 2000s 70s
--------->-------->------->||-------->\\
childhood oxford Kahana ann arbor shot on island

That line? That's his consciousness of the present. To him, it's a straight line, even though there are discontinuities within the line, his living present still maintains. This is all very clear to me and annoying when other people are confused. Same with Sayid, same with everyone. They don't remember the events of the past because they weren't adults in the past, they were children. They came to the past after becoming adults. Their consciousness retains its forward perception, even if their location in time has changed.

Jeeez. This could not be any easier.

That dispensed with, I am also just fine if the writers choose to "undo" everything by dropping Jughead into the Swan site energy and resetting the timeline. Yes, it might be unsatisfactory, but I believe they could still write it convincingly and affectingly. I don't think that I want the series to end that way next year, but I have faith that the story is going to unfold the way it should, regardless.

It felt a little tiny bit rushed and out of character that Daniel all of a sudden wanted to change the past and was so determined to do so after saying "whatever happened happened" so consistently for so long. As a parallel episode to "The Constant", "The Variable" doesn't of course carry the punch of that one (name an episode that does?). However, I still retain the faith that the writers are determined to see this through and that we'll get some more things we need to reach satisfying ends for the story.

knock knock. who's there?

2009-05-01T14:44:45Z

61 days until CONvergence 2009

Can I just say I really appreciate the fine work of all the volunteers who make this happen? I believe I just did. I do. Thank you. You now have 2 months to make it happen all over again. This should be a cause for celebration, not alarm. Stop being alarmed, you!

You should register before May 15.

And just 425 days until CVG 2010

I can has garden?

2009-04-28T18:24:42Z

We need a tiller. I'd prefer not to be forced to rent one. Help me LJ-wan, you're my only hope!

Anybody got a tiller or access to a tiller? We really need one.
Comment or email jonsolsen at gmail dot com

valedictions, no chaser

2009-04-28T15:54:55Z

I intend to remember
and not try to turn it off
I have the lingering ghosts of the moment
in the palms of my hands
impressed quite firmly upon them,
directly under my nose
and there they'll live, stilled
though able to haunt

I'll not exorcise them
I don't have a good bible for that
nor any of the old rituals
that they used
to dust out the mansions
evict their many spirits
or fling open the windows
to set sun upon the empty dance floor
and loose cool spring breath
among the motes

instead I close my eyes
and for once
stand so still

SMASHUP MONDAY

2009-04-27T16:34:36Z

Just finished Death Proof, which I need to watch with my full attention some time. Not sure if Leann would like that movie. Might. Will really hate some parts of the first half). Now I'm going to watch Vanishing Point. Any suggestions for my afternoon if I get thru VP?

MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY!

netflix instant. hells yes.

Giving myself a raise

2009-04-24T17:00:51Z

We've had some tough financial times lately. They reduced everyone's salaries at work (mine fell into the group "only" reduced by 5%) and stopped matching 401K contributions. I understand this, because I'd prefer the company stay in business and if we survive, they'll eventually restore these changes. They had to freeze raises quite a while ago, though, so I've been holding at the same salary for over 30 months (well, LESS than now with the reductions) after several years of steady increases at this and previous jobs. Well I can't really afford that. I just can't. So I had to make some changes to give myself a "raise." More like a little plundering of Peter, but Paul is being such a bitch right now (and by "Paul" I mean "very few frivolous expenses, seriously" I mean stuff like Health, Dental and Vision!). I reduced (didn't eliminate) my 401K contributions significantly, along with changing my exemptions. I realized I hadn't increased our tax exemptions since Henry was born. The net result is that my take home pay today is about $100 more than it was a month ago. It's not much, and I know the 401K thing could bite me later, but having two hundred extra bucks per month right now could mean the difference between making it to retirement and fucking falling into destitution.

These are the choices you make.

I'd rather have to retire many years later (or never) than have my beloved children get a chronic illness without health insurance, or be able to clothe them when they outgrow things, or be able to eat healthily (kind of important right now as I'm living the way I am). Or you know, pay for hotel at CONvergence (done). Or every once in a while get a babysitter. IT's been a while for that last one, however!

pogue mamiscellany

2009-04-24T14:25:16Z

Do you remember this performance?
White City

Man, I sure do. This was just incendiary for me. I was what? Seventeen. I immediately, like the next day, joined BMG or Columbia House, and got three of their albums (on cassette!) I also got The Waterboys. This was a seminal moment for me I guess. Gods what a demented genius Shane McGowan is.

Here's the song I have in my head this morning. Not a bad thing to have stuck up there. The great "Sunny Side of the Street"

"Seen the carnival at rome Had the women I had the booze
All I can remember now Is little kids without no shoes
So I saw that train And I got on it With a heartful of hate And a lust for vomit
Now Im walking on the sunnyside of the street"

"Stepped over bodies in bombay Tried to make it to the u.s.a.
Ended up in nepal Up on the roof with nothing at all
And I knew that day I was going to stay Right where I am, on the sunnyside of the street"

"Been in a palace, been in a jail I just dont want to be reborn a snail
Just want to spend eternity Right where I am, on the sunnyside of the street"

"As my mother wept it was then I swore To take my life as I would a whore
I know Im better than before I will not be reconstructed
Just wanna stay right here On the sunnyside of the street"

dang. no updates

2009-04-24T13:58:10Z

Okay. So, regrettably, there's nothing new from my salesguy/'boyfriend'. what shall I do next? we all want a fix of his antics, this is for sure. But perhaps three times is the charm and it's time to change course. LJ, what do you think I should do about [redacted sales guy] ?

View Poll: #1389218

The Saga CONTINUES!

2009-04-23T15:32:35Z

On Thu, Apr 23, 2009 at 8:21 AM, [redacted sales guy] wrote:
We attract customers that are truly interested in purchasing quality [redacted product], not bargain basement shoppers like yourself. Save the suit, your probably much more comfortable working from moms basement in your pajamas.

Good day and I hope all works out for you.

Best,

[redacted sales guy]

my response

Dearest [redacted sales guy]

Oh, no no surely I have given you the wrong idea! Our office is on the ground floor, and when you are next in the Twin Cities, do come by for the tour. We shall have butternut squash and bacon canapes (my own recipe). And I make a lovely Aviation cocktail which I'm told inspires many to feats of the most grandiose entrepreneurship and unparalleled client service. I'll introduce you to the wife and kids and you can even examine our data center.

And my dear mother, bless her soul, is hundreds of miles away pining for her grandchildren. It was certainly a difficult time in our lives, living under her roof those many years ago. She loathed our noisy dog and stifled her anxieties for my pride's sake while we sought to get back on our feet. What a strong and vigorous woman. Do you know that she is already 71? Seventy-one! I will tell her you asked after her, she'll be so pleased.

The dog, of course, had to be put down.

Warm regards,

Jon

You're not going to believe this

2009-04-23T02:39:34Z

He wrote back.

On Apr 22, 2009, at 4:13 PM, [redacted sales guy] wrote:

Well apparently it worked………..you finally responded. Oh and go ahead give them the other quotes, safe to assume your quoting [product] which we all know how well that works. As you know we are a [different flavor of product] and we choose who we work with not the other way around. Again if you are serious about discussing a partnership then let me know a good time to get on the the phone to discuss.

We may not be a match, hard to say. Thank you for the response.

my response

[redacted sales guy]!

It did work; you must say that to all the businesses! You are correct, I AM looking for [flavor of product he implied was bad] and I agree, we likely will not be a perfect match.

Your PPC guys must be going crazy. They have to hate it that leads who click their carefully made ads can't tell that it's [redacted company] who does the choosing, and not the other way around. Maybe they could reduce their spend, since the customer's shopping process is evidently immaterial. Once they learn the inside sales reps have eliminated the need for attracting customers, it should make budget negotiations much easier.

As requested, I'll keep your number. I can foresee a time when someone I work with insists I put on a nice suit, buy flowers, and beg you to take me back.

Best,
JonO

please God, make him write back...

This actually happened today

2009-04-22T21:06:56Z

On Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 3:15 PM, [redacted sales guy] wrote:

Jon are you serious about moving forward with a [marketing service I inquired about]? Are you wasting our time or did you have a serious need that we can help with.

My response:

Woah [redacted sales guy], hold on a second with the "wasting our time" bit. I thought when I filled out the get-a-quote form that I identified some of the things I was looking for. I appreciate the clarity of purpose and firm resolve you demonstrate on your follow through, but maybe this is a little stronger worded than you need it to be for a potential customer.

That said, I operate a small B2B business for other small businesses. I am scoping on behalf of my own clients who are a [business type]. And I want to know the following four items:

[four questions about their marketing services, delivery, cost and reporting methods]

That'll do it. Now is that serious enough or should I give my clients the quotes I have from your competitors plus my margin?

Regards,

Jon Olsen

burnunit @ 2009-04-21T07:35:00

2009-04-21T12:38:47Z

are your arms long enough

to undo the bindings behind me the ties

and trappings and fringes of reminders,

the clasps and buttons, the sewed on pieces

can you reach these

traces of lacings and sayings

words through clenched teeth

the scent of sweets
on the dense air

the red spring right here

alternating bursts of sun and sleet

all the dissolved ice

the misplaced slivers of light

yes, I said, they are

pains in the tops of my thighs departing

the breath caught in the corners of my lungs

unspooling on sharp angles of the dying winter

my head hung my apple cheeks

my hair in all directions chest heaving

yes they will reach

she is a set of framed black and whites

a pair of field workers in this one

a donkey burdened with firewood

a great stack of bolts of cloth

body wrapped and all held together

each picture separated, the backgrounds the same

she is a white flash of musketfire

a stab of ecstatic pain

at the midpoint of my shoulders

she is a streak of straw windrows

many tangles yet ordered upon the brown earth

and fresh with the dry scent of late summer

a mouth, shoulders, spine, hips

so sweetly out of season

Some like it hoth

2009-04-20T16:19:58Z

Last week's LOST ... man, it was so gentle and friendly and character-driven. Great work by Ken Leung, just great. We're being set for some massive shoes to drop. I predict this was like a sorbet course. The rest of the episodes are going to be killer. If this was a sorbet or intermezzo, the rest of the season is going to be frigging gavage!

poertree

2009-04-17T16:37:05Z

So I've done some work with some of the madness you've read in days of yore on this journal and reworked it into spoken word pieces. Here's a sample: My Own Distortions (part 1)

There's several more tracks over at my home writing page.

fun with memery

2009-04-16T05:39:12Z

Taken from magicmarmot. . .

Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?! Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Told someone you loved them? Drank alcohol? These questions for the people who are a little older.

What bill do you hate paying the most?
The late one

Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Mesa Pizza

What do you really want to be doing right now?
Sleeping

How many colleges did you attend?
One + grad school

Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
it's an undershirt. I don't think about that.

What are your thoughts on gas prices?
They're too high for the things I want. They're too low for the social change we need.

First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
What?

Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Baby come home.

Do you miss being a child?
Once a week.

What errand/chore do you despise?
Dishes

Get up early or sleep in?
Early

Have you found real love yet?
Yes

Favorite lunch meat?
Beef

What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
Sadder

Beach or lake?
Lake

Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No.

Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Dexter

What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Barack FUCKING OBAMA

Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
More than one. I rolled a 78 Ford Pinto. No explosion.

Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Yes

Ring tone?
Old Phone. It's the only thing I can hear as a phone sound and interrupt my other noises.

Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Disneyland Hotel, the morning after a hell of a bender.

Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
South Coast. Where the lion still rules the barranca.

Do you go to church?
Lately, not much.

At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Career

How old are you?
Thirty SIX!

Do you have a go to person?
Several.

Are you where you want to be in life?
Not yet.

Growing up, what were your favorite cartoons?
Super heroes of all kinds.

What about you do you think has changed the most?
My willingness and means to express myself.

Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life?
No. Fucking. Way.

Are there times you still feel like a kid?
Yes.

Did you ever own troll dolls?
Yes! Huzzah!

Did you have a pager?
Yep. Sometimes I miss it.

Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager?
Pizza Hut for my mundane friends. The park and the bar for my "vice" friends (gaming, gambling, smoking, and drinking).

Were you the type of kid you would want your children to hang out with?
Kind of. Without the huffing though.

Who do you think impacted your life the most?
My parents.

Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you?
Ms. Hill, Mr. Donaldson, my mom, my dad, Mr. Coleman, Mr. Spiers, Mrs. Javersak

Do you tell stories that start with "when I was your age"?
Yes. To our daughter. Usually to get a laugh.

super super

2009-04-15T17:48:01Z

To celebrate 30 days of abstinence, I am watching Superbad. Yes, while I work, bitches. It is also exceedingly funny! So fun.

I told you. Didn't I tell you? Change. My. Life.